CONTEMPORARY POETRY ARCHIVE

Contemporary Poetry Archive

*July 2000*

feelings... once unleashed but quickly hidden feelings for another still there heartbreak... pain and sorrow hidden also time passing by healing the wounds but not enough feelings come rushing back to haunt me to much this time to hide this time I let you know what happened and this time I sat back and cried feelings... all those beautiful gushing feelings that once brought me joy a smile on my face when hearing your name those same old feelings are the reason you're soo speechless the reason the topic quickly changed my best friend the source of those feelings and those feelings the source of heartbreak once again ~Jennifer Clair

Wallowing in sadness Swimming in the depths of dispair If someone is out there I just can't tell Routine discussions Just aren't enough when life is it's hardest why is mine so rough? People are laughing People are smiling Just not here ~Jennifer Clair

Darkness Surrounded in Darkness Reaching out Screaming in Fear No Confidence Rejection Absolutely Alone Tears sliding down a soft cheek Pain too great for one heart alone ~Jennifer Clair

DECEMBER @ELON 2000

Losing what you love the most Grasping it to your bossom Fear glowing in the dripping pools on a soft face Sobs of pain and rejection ooze from the quivering lips An uncontrollable force pulls it from the clinging arms Soft sobs turn to screeches of pain and heartache Gone it is and you are left alone ~Jennifer Clair

So you call me a star Shinning infinitely On the world On the cloudy nights that fill the present Someday those clouds will clear And the light will shine again. ~Jennifer Clair

You try and you try But you just can't shake me Try harder and harder And you still can't break me I'm here, still here You're gonna have to get used to it I'm still here I'll haunt your dreams and make them nightmares You can't shake me You said forever But is forever over already That's right close your eyes Hope I disapear But when you close them The vision's even stronger My voice is even louder I'm here, still here I'll haunt your dreams and make them nightmares You can't evict me You wanted me forever I'm yours forever.... Forever more. ~Jennifer Clair

Woke up on the wrong side Tried changing to the right side Ran out the door, late again Since you've been gone Can't sleep at night Can't wake in the morning light I'm too tired Is 20 too young to retire? Everything I do is wrong And it hasn't been so long Since the last thing I did went right Too bad that was losing you ~Jennifer Clair

staring up at the stars tonight can't help but think of you you are out there somewhere staring up at the same stars that fill my room with light reach out my hand longing to touch a star to reach across the sky and grab your hand let you know I'm thinking of you too tears swell in eyes you've never seen knowing you may never see them causes pain the one person in the world meant to know me more than any other meant to know the softness of my skin the echo of my voice keep shining I tell the stars I know as long as they do I'll still be looking at them and thinking of you I hope you do too some day I'll find you some time in the future and when that day comes I'll smile and you'll smile and the elysium will last forever... ~Jennifer Clair

Why, Why must you keep Destroying my waking Destroying my sleeping I'm never safe From your constant ridicule Always yelling, screaming Your face an enormous mouth Vomitting out complaints and objections You're never happy With anything you have ever had You're always pretending to care The falseness dripping from your pores like sweat I just hope you know That all this is going to hurt you more in the end I'm living my life Whether you like it or not ~Jennifer Clair

Closing my eyes Shutting out the light More than light is shut out The day is not here Kept outside of mind If it is not seen It is not there How it has always been Now there is more More than seeing is knowing A whisper, a word, spoken That one word Could possibly mean The WORLD. ~Jennifer Clair

A light One light Constant, glowing Shimmering, shining Billions of light years away One Light forever there No matter where One star, two eyes Meet each night One long gaze Romance, Dreams, the Future All are there. ~Jennifer Clair

A lifetime of loneliness 20 years seems so long fears of the lifetime lasting wanting to end it all right now surrounded by everything and noticing nothing surrounded by everyone and knowing no one fears of death and pain are the only things that keep the life living darkness, pitch black and thick breathing is impossible suddenly out of nowhere a speck, tiny but still there kept the mind interested in just what it might be the speck grows to a spot the spot is the opposite of it's surroundings it is light life seems livable at this moment slowly still the light grows closer and closer the acting stops the curtain is closed the audience applauds but none of that matters to her because the light has changed the play the show that was her life that one light was the hero kept the play from ending in a tragedy maybe that play will get rave reviews cause just when she thought it was all figured out the plot twists a beautiful happy twist the reason she is alive ~Jennifer Clair

An evening, cool and crisp a symphony of night's nature plays just for two two hands clasped two arms around so safe, so warm two mouths each with two soft lips two eyes beautiful and glowing eyelids softly closing and once again opening reflecting in the eyes the majestic stars so beautiful and regal so at home in those eyes a night so gentle a night so pure true beauty is found in simplest of spots ~Jennifer Clair

Silence is sometimes too silent Hearing nothing is what you dread Why is something like silence so deadly and at other times so pure and sweet? The silence I have is the silence I don't want The dead silence of not knowing A silence that screams of fear and loss And longing for silence with someone else ~Jennifer Clair

Why is it that 21 seems like forever 21 years I've lived I'm old, ancient, decrepit Or so I feel Looking at others This long time I've lived Seems like a small spec of time Struggling to make it Seems impossible in the world I live in Every day is a struggle Internally fighting with the worries The stresses, anxieties Will I be ok? Will I grow up to be like her? Cause if I do I don't know if I can take it Can someone make it stop!!!!!! ~Jennifer Clair

Happiness Is it over-rated? I wouldn't know But who decided that I'm not allowed to figure that out for myself? Just once I would like to find happiness that lasts longer than a second, a stitch of time Maybe someday. ~Jennifer Clair

Laying across cotton sheets A tear stained pillow next to a red face Unanswered questions hanging in the air Only one thing comes from those quivering lips Amid sobs it is heard Why? Why was this tossed in to my overcomplicated life? Haven't you seen me hurt enough? Why must you tease me so? Why am I always... ALONE